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The regular early morning yell of horror was the sound of most of the country waking up and suddenly remembering Brexit was still happening.
#HitchhikersGuideToBrexit #HHGTB #FinalSay #PeoplesVote
#HitchhikersGuideToBrexit #HHGTB #FinalSay #PeoplesVote
The plans for Brexit are on display in the darkened basement of the Department for Exiting the European Union at the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying "Beware of the Unicorn"
#HHGTB #FinalSay #PeoplesVote
#HHGTB #FinalSay #PeoplesVote
"There is an art to Brexit, or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself off the cliff and not plummet... Clearly, it is this second part, the not-plummeting, that presents the difficulties."
#HHGTB #FinalSay #PeoplesVote
#HHGTB #FinalSay #PeoplesVote
The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that Brexit's a bad idea'" says DExEU, "for proof denies faith, & without faith Brexit is nothing."
"But the Brexit Impact Studies are a dead giveaway, aren't they? They prove Brexit is bad, by your own research"
"Oh dear"
"But the Brexit Impact Studies are a dead giveaway, aren't they? They prove Brexit is bad, by your own research"
"Oh dear"
Throughout the negotiations to Leave the EU, it seems as if #BrexitReality and especially the Irish border issue has been subject to a rather large Somebody Else's Problem field.
#FinalSay #PeoplesVote
#FinalSay #PeoplesVote
Captain of the B(rexit) ark
"Well what happened you see was, the EU is, so to speak, doomed"
"Doomed?"
"Oh yes. So what 38% of the voters thought was, let's Leave the EU & set off somewhere else"
"Why doomed?"
"Communists I think
Or was it Capitalists?
Terrifying whatever it was"
"Well what happened you see was, the EU is, so to speak, doomed"
"Doomed?"
"Oh yes. So what 38% of the voters thought was, let's Leave the EU & set off somewhere else"
"Why doomed?"
"Communists I think
Or was it Capitalists?
Terrifying whatever it was"
Nevertheless, Jane began to use her Sub-Tabloid Sens-O-Matic more often again to search for signs of #EURef2.
Only twice did she pick up signals, but they were so faint despite the obvious peril & that depressed her more than the otherwise continuing plunge towards Brexit
#HHGTB
Only twice did she pick up signals, but they were so faint despite the obvious peril & that depressed her more than the otherwise continuing plunge towards Brexit
#HHGTB
The civil service had been shocked by the whole idea.
They tried to explain that they'd been thinking about this Brexit business & had worked out that there was no conceivable consequence of not Leaving the EU that was worse than the known consequence of Brexit.
The ERG disagreed
They tried to explain that they'd been thinking about this Brexit business & had worked out that there was no conceivable consequence of not Leaving the EU that was worse than the known consequence of Brexit.
The ERG disagreed
& pulverized the civil service.
The Remainers staggered back & heard ringing in their ears the thin chant of Leavers crying out in unison.
"Brexit! Brexit! Brexit!"
The sound chilled them. It was harsh, it was cold, it was empty,
it was mechanically dismal.
It was also triumphant
The Remainers staggered back & heard ringing in their ears the thin chant of Leavers crying out in unison.
"Brexit! Brexit! Brexit!"
The sound chilled them. It was harsh, it was cold, it was empty,
it was mechanically dismal.
It was also triumphant
"Alright," said Shallow Thought. "The Answer to the Great Question Of Life, the Universe & Brexit"
"Yes..!"
"Is..." said Shallow Thought & paused.
"Yes..!"
"Is.."
"Yes..!!?"
"A TV Debate," said Shallow Thought, with infinite majesty & calm.
"We're going to get lynched aren't we?"
"Yes..!"
"Is..." said Shallow Thought & paused.
"Yes..!"
"Is.."
"Yes..!!?"
"A TV Debate," said Shallow Thought, with infinite majesty & calm.
"We're going to get lynched aren't we?"
On no account should you allow a Brexiter to read poetry at you.
#HHGTB
(I think I've found Paul Neil Milne Johnstone of Redbridge)
#HHGTB
(I think I've found Paul Neil Milne Johnstone of Redbridge)
"The Heart of Gold’s Improbability Drive made it the most powerful and unpredictable ship in existence. There was nothing it couldn’t do, provided you
knew exactly how improbable it was that the thing you wanted it to do would ever happen."
#HHGTB https://mobile.twitter.com/davidallengreen/status/1090249367435522048
knew exactly how improbable it was that the thing you wanted it to do would ever happen."
#HHGTB https://mobile.twitter.com/davidallengreen/status/1090249367435522048
"One of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them.
To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who most want to rule people are those least suited to do it"
#HHGTB
To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who most want to rule people are those least suited to do it"
#HHGTB
Preparing for No Deal Brexit #HHBTB #HitchHikersGuideToBrexit
"I thought we were supposed to lie down and put a paper bag over our head, or something."
"Yes, if you like."
"Will that help?"
"No." https://twitter.com/adampayne26/status/1101084072837816320
"I thought we were supposed to lie down and put a paper bag over our head, or something."
"Yes, if you like."
"Will that help?"
"No." https://twitter.com/adampayne26/status/1101084072837816320
A large farm animal approached Rees-Mogg's table, a large fat meaty quadruped of the porcine type with a flushed complexion, closed eyes & a union jack flag inserted in its arse
"Good evening, I am the Brexiter electorate", it said "May I interest you in parts of my body?" #HHGTB
"Good evening, I am the Brexiter electorate", it said "May I interest you in parts of my body?" #HHGTB
John Bercow just gave an MP the advice "Don't Panic" about Brexit.
Has the Hitchhiker's Guide To Brexit peaked? #HHGTB
Has the Hitchhiker's Guide To Brexit peaked? #HHGTB
In today's Galaxy there is one word that is still beyond the pale. The concept it embodies is so revolting that the publication or broadcast of the word is utterly forbidden in all parts of the galaxy except one - where they don’t know what it means.
That word is “Brexit”
#HHGTB
That word is “Brexit”
#HHGTB
Only 100 more hours to go until the Vogon Constructor Fleet gets here (with any luck)
#HHGTB https://mobile.twitter.com/brexitcountdow1/status/1114694319301066752
#HHGTB https://mobile.twitter.com/brexitcountdow1/status/1114694319301066752
ERG-on Poetry
#PerfidiousAlbion #HHGTB https://mobile.twitter.com/john3ners/status/1115639330159116288
#PerfidiousAlbion #HHGTB https://mobile.twitter.com/john3ners/status/1115639330159116288
There's a small cafe in Rickmansworth where a girl once realised what it was that had been going wrong all this time & finally knew how the UK could be made a good & happy place
But the Tories arrived with their impossibly huge yellow-bellied referendum
#HHGTB h/t @Darwinsterrier
But the Tories arrived with their impossibly huge yellow-bellied referendum
#HHGTB h/t @Darwinsterrier
It's difficult to say exactly what the MPs of the UK were doing now, because most of them didn't really know what they were doing themselves.
None of it made a lot of sense: ignoring the facts, arguing about who should lead the collapse, howling noiselessly at the division #HHGTB
None of it made a lot of sense: ignoring the facts, arguing about who should lead the collapse, howling noiselessly at the division #HHGTB
UKGov mass distributing Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses designed to help people develop a relaxed attitude to danger.
At the first hint of trouble turn totally black & thus prevent you from seeing anything that might alarm you #hottestdayoftheyear #HHGTB
At the first hint of trouble turn totally black & thus prevent you from seeing anything that might alarm you #hottestdayoftheyear #HHGTB
More #HHGTB from @davidallengreen https://mobile.twitter.com/davidallengreen/status/1181508198475468800
Ford, there's an infinite number of monkeys outside who want to talk to us about this withdrawal agreement for Brexit they've worked out. #HHGTB
Curiously enough, EU Citizens had long known of the impending damage to the UK & had made attempts to alert Brits to the danger; but most of their communications were misinterpreted, so many eventually gave up & left (or stopped coming) shortly before Brexit arrived
#HHGTB
#HHGTB
Many of the Remainers that still posted on Twitter were stricken and listless, as if they were suffering some disease of the spirit rather than the body.
They protested weakly, with an infinite sadness.
Their future had been taken away from them #HHGTB https://twitter.com/SebDance/status/1220653643587903489
They protested weakly, with an infinite sadness.
Their future had been taken away from them #HHGTB https://twitter.com/SebDance/status/1220653643587903489
This is us, in Brexit Britain.
A painful revelation
#HHGTB https://mobile.twitter.com/stephens_ben/status/1216483504025894912
A painful revelation
#HHGTB https://mobile.twitter.com/stephens_ben/status/1216483504025894912
Many believe the chances of finding out what's actually going on with Brexit are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say, "Hang the sense of it," and keep busy.
"I'd much rather be happy than right any day!"
But are they?
No.
That's where it all falls down. #HHGTB
"I'd much rather be happy than right any day!"
But are they?
No.
That's where it all falls down. #HHGTB
"...The lawyers experimented vainly with various ways of redefining Brexit, reevaluating it, and in the end even respelling it in the hope that no one would notice." -- #HHGTB
(After @Spigot696 via h/t @BBAshort4guess)
(After @Spigot696 via h/t @BBAshort4guess)
It's easy to suspect that if there's any real truth, it's that the entire multidimensional stupidity of Brexit is almost certainly being run by a bunch of maniacs.
#HHGTB #HitchhikersGuideToBrexit
#HHGTB #HitchhikersGuideToBrexit
These Douglas Adams quotes are all great
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/2bcFfMt6rGLTPpbG0yLwPw0/42-douglas-adams-quotes-to-live-by
but in particular
1. “All opinions are not equal. Some are a very great deal more robust, sophisticated and well supported in logic and argument than others.” #HHGTB
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/2bcFfMt6rGLTPpbG0yLwPw0/42-douglas-adams-quotes-to-live-by
but in particular
1. “All opinions are not equal. Some are a very great deal more robust, sophisticated and well supported in logic and argument than others.” #HHGTB
And especially
2. “I don't accept the currently fashionable assertion that any view is automatically as worthy of respect as any equal and opposite view.”
#HHGTB
2. “I don't accept the currently fashionable assertion that any view is automatically as worthy of respect as any equal and opposite view.”
#HHGTB
Coronavirus update to the Hitchhiker's Guide to Brexit
#HHGTB https://mobile.twitter.com/Trump_ton/status/1238041967830982656
#HHGTB https://mobile.twitter.com/Trump_ton/status/1238041967830982656
Watching the UK Government fail to participate in EU procurement of PPE & ventilators & also ignore the need to request an extension to the trial period despite #CoronavirusLockdown 
"Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?" #HHGTB
"Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?" #HHGTB
I'm beginning to think the Government Coronavirus messaging is being done by monkeys pulling tiles out of a Scrabble bag
#HHGTB
#HHGTB
