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Swim class: "He's silly!" the little girl says, pointing at my kid. "I want to play with him."
"Be gentle," says her grandmother.
"I saw on Sesame Street," and she jumps beside my spinning son.
There's an autistic, nonverbal Muppet. Don't tell me representation doesn't matter.
"Be gentle," says her grandmother.
"I saw on Sesame Street," and she jumps beside my spinning son.
There's an autistic, nonverbal Muppet. Don't tell me representation doesn't matter.
It's kind of funny, because I was pissed at Sesame Street's portrayal of an autistic child, because it hit so many tropes, and every autistic kid is different. (It's not a spectrum; it's a sundae bar.) And then I realized I was looking at it like an adult.
Preschoolers look at Julia, and they see some of the most "readable" traits. It helps them to not only recognize an autistic play/classmate, but to learn how to be a good friend with them. To not be afraid of them.
When you're four or five years or six years old, the sundae bar concept is too much to grasp. The inaccurate spectrum model isn't much better, because then they think in terms of the kid being "good" or "bad". But saying, "Hey, you may have a friend like or kind of like this."
That's huge. That sets the foundation for learning more and discovering how to interact. That everyone has something that makes them unique, or things that are sometimes hard. AK has trouble talking, but he's great with computers already. Disabled people aren't scary.
It's a platform for them learning there's nothing wrong with using sign language, or having a wheelchair, or wearing an insulin pump, or any other disability under the sun. And we fucking need that.
Looking at it as an autistic adult, I see the underpinnings of ableism. Looking at it like an abled child, I see a path to acceptance. And that's a good thing.
So, uh. This blew up! I wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who has found my ko-fi and dropped in a little. We have enough to keep him in swim class for another two months! (8 week session, once per week.) Your generosity means so much to us. Thanks for caring! 
I've seen some questions about sundae bar theory as opposed to spectrum. There was a graphic I saw on facebook, and it goes like this: imagine every person as a bowl of ice cream. There's a wide array of toppings (traits) that each sundae can have. Okay? Break it down further.
So now let's see the ice cream as a specific person; someone with autism. All the toppings are the myriad of traits and "signs" an autistic person might have. For instance, I'm superverbal and sensitive to touch, and my son is nonverbal and physically sensory-seeking.
Any autistic person can have any number of traits, or just one, or maybe thirty. But in the end, there's nothing that makes someone more higher functioning than another. A sundae's a sundae's. It's just different. You can't make one exactly the same way twice.
When it comes down to it, there's no "right" or "wrong" way to be autistic. If you are, then you are. And you can't make a bad sundae.
(I mean, you might not like one, but someone else would. Because we're all delicious! No cannibalism intended.)
(I mean, you might not like one, but someone else would. Because we're all delicious! No cannibalism intended.)
I'm happy this thread resonated with so many people. Sometimes I worry about coming off as an "autism mom", but there's nothing burdensome or wrong about my child. He sees and experiences the world differently. So do I. So do you.
A disabled person is disabled. And that's okay!
A disabled person is disabled. And that's okay!
And while I've got you here: banning plastic straws hurts disabled persons. If you're confused, @Lollardfish has written some wonderful explanations as to why. I also encourage following other disabled persons and listening to them and their advocacy.
A few suggestions: @EbThen @coffeespoonie @MortuaryReport @SFdirewolf @pleasantandy
It's always best to learn about disability, ableism, and accessibility from those who live it. Let us speak for ourselves.
Thanks for listening.
It's always best to learn about disability, ableism, and accessibility from those who live it. Let us speak for ourselves.
Thanks for listening.
Here's the graphic! Many thanks to @fibro_unicorn. https://twitter.com/fibro_unicorn/status/1020038274826596353?s=19
Holy cow, I made a twitter moment! I never officially added a plug to this, so if you'd like to help me keep the little guy in swim lessons or help me buy him a bed of his own, I would greatly appreciate you're retweeting this! https://twitter.com/shiphitsthefan/status/1046476666208481281?s=19
https://twitter.com/shiphitsthefan/status/1046476666208481281?s=19
I've also written an essay since this thread was posted about being an autistic parent of an autistic child in case you'd like to check that out. https://twitter.com/shiphitsthefan/status/1070312373477695488?s=19
Sharing this story has blessed us in so many ways. All I wanted was to show how wonderful and needed good disability representation is. Thank you for you support and for listening to us.
(I'm always iffy about sharing support tweets, but I'm really tired of sharing a bed!)
#Sesame50 has this thread making the rounds again, and I see that the link tweet to my article seems to be broken. Here is a link to my piece about parenting while autistic: https://twitter.com/SFdirewolf/status/1071111347973218304?s=19
