Simple Writing Tips: A Thread

(1) A good character will generally shit and piss and cum everywhere. When writing a character alway stop and think: have I included enough shit and piss and cum? If the answer is no you may have written a bad character.

(2) When writing romance make sure that one of the two (or more) romantic leads is played by Danny DeVito. If you cannot get Danny DeVito to appear in your project you should not be writing romance.

(3) Don't touch that, it's creamy.

(4) Redemption arcs must include bees. Otherwise they are not real redemption arcs.

(5) Heroes refusing to kill villains even if those villains go on to later piss and shit and cum everywhere is not "noble", it's enabling. The hero is now responsible for that shit and piss and cum.

(6) Two women kissing is GROSS, they WILL GET GIRL COOTIES.

(7) Twitter is not an appropriate place.

(8) When a character's body count is over 10,000 that character has a lot of bodies.

(9) Tip 8 does not apply if their body count is 9,999. That's actually not that many bodies.

(10) Everything in a story is there because the creator put it there, so why are there not more cats? Cats are good.

(11) Don't be cringe, that's cringe.

(12) Don't.

(13) Stop.

(14) No.